


Everything That We Thought We Were

by JustAPassingGlance



Series: seblaine week 2015 [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 06:45:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4511928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAPassingGlance/pseuds/JustAPassingGlance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘We must be meant to be,’ Blaine said, breath puffing against Sebastian’s lips in the wake of their first kiss. ‘That’s what the universe has been telling us all of these years. We’ve been so foolish not to listen.’</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything That We Thought We Were

Falling in love with Sebastian had been the easiest thing in the world. Falling wasn’t even the right word for it. He slipped into love, like you slip into bed at the end of a long day. It was sinking into the warmth and security of a longed for comfort.

Sebastian had loved him for years. Unwittingly at first and later unwaveringly. Across the miles and through the seasons Sebastian had kept loving Blaine. Frist as the school boy he was and then as the man he had become. He loved him like he did everything else—unashamedly, unrepentantly, and without hesitation

And in the face of that kind of love, a love that bright and enduring, it was impossible for Blaine to do anything but love him back.

_-_

_They had met (re-met, really) steadily over the years. Almost like clockwork they ran into each other. Sometimes expected—Dalton reunions, Warbler’s weddings— and sometimes not—in a rest stop off the interstate while they were travelling in different directions, on the beaches of Spain during overlapping vacations._

_But over and over they were drawn together._

_Destiny spinning its web of inevitability around them._

_‘We must be meant to be,’ Blaine said, breath puffing against Sebastian’s lips in the wake of their first kiss. ‘That’s what the universe has been telling us all of these years. We’ve been so foolish not to listen.’_

_Sebastian didn’t believe in fate or destiny, but he did believe in Blaine._

-

Being in love with Sebastian filled places in him that Blaine never even knew were empty. Whether they had never been full to begin with, or had been scraped out over the years, Sebastian somehow managed to fill them—fill him, until he was brimming over.

Every day was better than the last. Even as they waivered in and out of the honeymoon stage. Even after four years and countless fights. Every morning they awoke they were somehow more in love than they were the night before.

It had never been like that with anyone else; two failed engagements and a string of disingenuous lovers and all because his life had been waiting for this.

It was love, but somehow more.

-

_Sunday mornings they had claimed for themselves._

_“Our parents have church and I have you,” Sebastian had declared before kissing every inch of Blaine with such reverence it could only be its own form of worship._

_When he was done, Blaine had wrestled him down to the mattress, straddled him, and laced their fingers together._

_Sebastian’s face was flushed and his hair a mess of fly-away strands. Blaine leaned forward, pressing their hands back into the mattress._

_“Every kiss,” he said seriously, eyes locked with Sebastian’s, “is a reason I love you.” He sat back and lifted up their hands. “Every finger,” he kissed each in turn. “This freckle,” he pressed his lips against a barely-there mark at the base of Sebastian’s thumb, “and this one,” he kissed another, this time on his wrist. “And these ones,” his lips chased a line up his arm. “Your smile,” he secreted a kiss to the corner of Sebastian’s lips._

_On and on and on. Kiss after kiss. Until they both lost track of the number._

-

Suddenly, one day, there was nothing.

Maybe there had been some distance. Busy lives keeping them circling away from each other, not towards. Fights replaced by silences. Some days they exchanged fewer words. Maybe the nothing had been growing all along, and he just hadn’t noticed until it was too late.

One night Blaine looked over. Looked at Sebastian’s familiar face as he slept. A face he could draw from memory, every sweep and contour, every freckle. In that moment Sebastian’s brow was rigid and mouth slightly drawn. A bad dream, probably. Or maybe just the general discomfort of an aging body.

For a long second Blaine found that didn’t have it in him to figure out which.

-

_Even though the sun was almost down, the temperature still hovered on just the wrong side of comfortable. A cool breeze cut through the summer heat, moving the still air just enough to count as relief. Headlight beams danced, almost like fireflies, as their light cut through the trees on the outskirts of the park. After years of living in the city, the permanent hum of background traffic was barely even an afterthought in their minds._

_“That’s going to be us one day,” Blaine said quietly, gently tugging on their pulled hands to get Sebastian’s attention._

_“Hmm?”_

_Blaine tilted his head towards an elderly couple who were dancing together. The woman’s lips were moving as she sang along to a song they were too far away to hear. Behind them lay a blanket and a picnic basket, the neck of a bottle of wine poking out from inside._

_They stopped for a minute to watch, Sebastian pulling Blaine closer to him. “Speak for yourself,” he grumbled and ran a hand through his slowly greying hair. “Some of us are already there.”_

_“When I open my eyes every morning, my heart still flutters the same way it did back in high school when I first saw you.”_

_“That’s probably something you should see a doctor about." _Sebastian’s face contorted into one of mock concern. "_ I was going to suggest that you trade me in for a younger specimen, but I forgot that you’re even older than me,” he teased. _

_“By less than a year.” He pulled Sebastian’s arm over his shoulder and burrowed into his side, melting into the familiar weight and heat of Sebastian’s body. “And I would never trade you in for anyone,” he said seriously. “Never. It took us long enough to get here and you’re a fool if you think I would ever let you go.”_

-

He kept up the motions. Made sure to touch and kiss and say. Made sure to mimic love.

It would come back, he was sure. It had just flickered down, not shuttered out. A relationship rut. It happened, he had been told. Falling in and out and back in love. Cyclical, like everything else in the world.

He stayed. Sebastian deserved as much, if not more. For his years and years of unflagging love. Blaine stayed and showered extra affection to make up for the dearth inside of him.

Confused at first, Sebastian’s smile grew brighter and brighter. His love so intense Blaine could feel it burn. Burn for them.

Burn him. Until the only thing left was charcoaled remains.

-

_Across the room Sebastian was talking animatedly to Julian. His eyes were lowered in feign abashment at his college roommate's ribbing grin as they laughed over the follies of their youth._

_“Who would have thought we would have ever seen him this happy?” Quinn sidled up beside Blaine. Her arm slithered languidly across the counter in search of a bottle to fill up her almost-empty glass and back again once it found what it had sought. “It suits him.”_

_“Most things do.” Blaine turned to eye his boyfriend, nearly fifty and as handsome as ever in a button up shirt and well-fitted pants. “He’s versatile like that.”_

_“Spare me the details.” She wrinkled her nose at him. “I’ve heard enough from him.”_

_Blaine took a slow sip from his own drink. “That isn’t what I meant.”_

_“I know we’re supposed to find our own happiness within ourselves, or whatever that psychobabble bullshit is-” She paused to stare intently into her glass, like she could divine the future from it._

_“But?” Blaine prompted._

_“You’re his.”_

-

In the stillness of night he gathered his things. Not for himself but for Sebastian who didn’t deserve the withering shell of a relationship he had to offer. Who didn’t even realize it was a shell and who believed wholeheartedly in the illusion Blaine had created.

All the empty places that had been filled were empty again. Emptier than before. Too empty to ever fill again.

His heart, which had been too silent for too long, started to life again just in time to break. “I’m sorry,” he whispered on a breath forced from his lungs. “I’m sorry.”

 


End file.
